Tournament play can be a hive of scum of villainy or the highlight of your weekend. Learn to identify other players and counteract their machinations.
The Kid
It's no shame to lose to someone born in the 2000s, but it still stings. There is an equal chance that The Kid is an autodidact who plays Magic like a relentless threshing machine or that they simply have more time on their hands. Console yourself with the fact that you can drink away your woes. They cannot.
Via wizards.com
The Gloat
Magic is a weirdly personal game in that it is almost exclusively a one on one affair. Like there were rules for dueling in ye olden times, there are rules for dueling in Magic. It is doubtful that Aaron Burr pumped his fist and shouted OH YEAH after plugging Alexander Hamilton. When playing Magic, be Aaron Burr.
Via giphy.com
The Stonewall
Magic is supposed to be a fun, social game but you wouldn't know it from the way The Stonewall goes about their business. The most information you can get out of them is a cursory grunt and to make eye contact with you would be a capital crime. Playing the Stonewall is about as much fun as playing Solitaire by yourself on a beautiful spring day.
Via giphy.com
The Newbie
Chances are that this person is you or was once you many moons ago. They don't have the cards memorized, they are a little off on the etiquette and have not figured out the nuances of the game. DO NOT BE A JERK. When confronted with a Newbie, there is a natural inclination to turn into one of the other players on this list. Resist the inclination and help them learn the game. Your karma will be rewarded with a good draw somewhere down the line.
Via giphy.com
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