Showing posts with label March 20. Show all posts

Wednesday, 19 March 2014

64 Thoughts You Have While Filling Out Your March Madness Bracket

You’ll be begging for a halftime that will never come.

1. Ugh there are so many teams. This is going to take me forever.

2. I have not watched a minute of college basketball this season.

3. I feel qualified to make picks, however, because I went to college, and I played basketball once.

4. Let's start with Duke. Duke is always good. They're like the Slytherin of college basketball.

5. OK, now that I have that out of the way, let's start at the top left. Can't do this willy-nilly.

6. I wish the team names were listed and not the just the school names. What if the school has a shitty mascot? I need to know that.

7. * hums “That's How I Beat Shaq” by Aaron Carter. *

8. I like Florida and I have to pick them because they're the Gators, and I love alligators.

9. VCU? That sounds like a venereal disease. Whatever, I'm picking them.

10. “UCLA Bruins” makes it sound like they're making beer, so that's an easy pick for me.

11. Well, my cousin went to Ohio State, so I have to choose them, right?

12. Syracuse! They wear orange. Orange is such an underrated color.

13. There's something edgy about choosing a 10-seed over a 7-seed. It makes you feel so alive!

14. I'm going with the Kansas Jayhawks. Also, did you know that Kansas is actually flatter than a pancake? Science, man!

15. I actually visited the University of Virginia. I didn't apply, but I had a nice Mexican meal while I was there.

16. I'm picking Memphis to win its first game because they're the Tigers, and tigers are cool.

Aaron Carter Vevo

Wednesday, 19 March 2014

Snapchat

Drake

Your loved one runs through the entire airport to reach you.

Your hair looks flawless without you doing anything to it.

Someone you are not dating writes you a letter every single day for a year.

You manage to eat spaghetti while looking sexy and without getting sauce all over your shirt.

Such poise. Such focus.

So exquisite, I can't even handle it.

It isn't easy being this gorgeous all the time…

… it really isn't.

You basically have the sleeping patterns of a vampire.

And when you finally lay down you can never get comfortable.

In college any class before 11am was just way too early.

And you definitely envy people who can fall asleep anywhere.

Jenny Roberts Dodge lost her phone on St. Patrick's Day in New Orleans. After using Find My Friends, she tracked it down at a local bar and discovered that the dude who found it had recorded some surprise videos for her.

In his first video, the mystery man asked a local coffee shop what to do with a lost iPhone. A snarky redhead answered, “Keep it.”

But our guy was too respectable to do such a thing. He proceeded to take the phone on a romantic stroll through New Orleans, waiting for someone to call so he could coordinate a hand off.

“Oh shit! I was so busy talking to you I missed the bus!” our guy told the phone. “I'll be honest, I'm having too much fun with this found phone.”

“Should I Stay Or Should I Go?” – The Clash

“Thriller” – Michael Jackson

COMING TO A GAY-CONVERSION CLINIC NEAR YOU…

…it's Kylie Minogue's new video for “Sexercize,” which is lit'rally and figuratively MAKING ME QUESTION EVERYTHING I BELIEVE IN.

And by everything I believe in, I mean penises and boys and boys and penises and EVERYTHING holy!

WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME?!?!!

Watch the video:

Unlike most of his roles, this one includes sizzurp and strip clubs. I bet Chet Haze would approve.

Since Tom probably couldn't make the shoot, it's only fitting that they CGIed him into the video.

When News 8's Gloria Campos refused to give up on Ke'onte Cook 6 years ago, she could have only hoped his life would turn out as beautiful as it has.

“Look, I'll admit it: I'm sad, okay? I'm real sad.”

“Fuck you for bringing me into your home and then LEAVING.”

“When I said you smelled horrible, I was just acting out okay?”

“This is literally me sized, let's go now.”