DO NOT PANIC. But also: panic.
1. …I bet that's just a blond hair.
2. I don't grow blond hairs.
3. I should pluck it just to be sure.
4. No, I shouldn't pluck it. That's insane.
5. But it looks pretty gray.
6. I'm just gonna look in this mirror. Just to check.
7. oh god
8. no
20th Century Fox
9. no
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You have no idea how lucky you are to live in the present day.
1. The Ottoman Empire's Sultan Ibrahim I had 280 of his concubines drowned in the ocean after one of them slept with another man.
2. In medieval times people were put to death for being witches. One anthropologist conjectures as many as 600,000 “witches” lost their lives.
3. Mexican General Santa Anna had an elaborate state funeral for his amputated leg.
4. Tens of thousands of baby girls were abandoned each year in China because of the country's one-child policy.
5. Before the mid-19th century dentures were commonly made with teeth pulled from the mouths of dead soldiers.
Scott Barbour / Via Getty Image News
6. Roman Emperor Gaius made his beloved horse a senator.
7. Ice age Britons used skulls of the dead as cups.
8. After Pope Gregory IX associated cats with devil worship, cats throughout Europe were exterminated in droves.
9. This sudden lack of cats led to the spread of disease because infected rats ran free. The most devastating of these diseases, the Bubonic Plague, killed 100 million people.
10. The Aztecs made human sacrifices to the gods. In 1487, at the dedication of the temple in Tenochtitlan, 20,000 people were put to death.
11. The Mayans also made sacrifices. The most common involved pulling a still-beating heart out of a victim's chest.
Touchstone Pictures
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Mid-2000s?
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One word: leotard.
Michael Ochs Archives / Moviepix / Getty Images
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Take notes, everyone. This is how you pull off a fedora.
Michael Ochs Archives/ Moviepix / Getty Images
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Shake it, Nana!
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Here’s one: She will give you a cupcake, and you don’t even have to ask for it.
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In her six-decade-long career — from radio dramas to live television variety shows to Mary Tyler Moore to The Golden Girls to her current gigs, TV Land's sitcom Hot in Cleveland and Lifetime's reality prank show Off Their Rockers — there is pretty much no question that Betty White hasn't answered. She even said as much to me within the first two minutes of our interview, for which I was given a strict 15 minutes. “I've been in the talking business all my life,” White explained by way of apologizing for not having an answer to my question about what she can get away with saying now at 92 that she couldn't when she was younger. “So I think even if I wasn't supposed to talk about it, I did. It's been 65 years now in this business. That's a long time! That's a lot of talking!”
What I quickly discovered, however, is that even after a lifetime spent in the public eye, Betty White still has the capacity to surprise.
The actual cupcake Betty White gave me
Adam B. Vary / BuzzFeed
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Well, my friends, the time has come to raise the roof and have some fun.
DISCLAIMER: What you are about to read has a lot of very enthusiastic capitalization.
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Besides the number of times this period drama makes you sob like a baby.
The third season of BBC's Call the Midwife — which wrapped up last month in the U.K. and begins on March 30 on PBS in the States — attracted an audience of more than 10 million viewers when it aired across the Atlantic, a figure that puts it on nearly equal footing with Downton Abbey. But that series gets far more attention than this subtle and superb period drama.
Set in 1950s East End London and based on Jennifer Worth's memoirs, Call the Midwife tracks the lives of a group of young midwives and the sisterhood of nuns with whom they work at Nonnatus House. Babies are born, labors — both real and figurative — undertaken, and love blossoms and fades. It is an extraordinary show about birth and death and what comes in between. As written by Heidi Thomas and her talented staff, Call the Midwife manages to be both warm and profound in equal measure, opening a window to a time long gone yet offering a glimpse into the eternal and the transitory. It's tea cozy television with a very deep soul.
But if you haven't yet watched Call the Midwife (or have already fallen in love with its easy charms), here are seven reasons why it is worth watching. (Warning: Minor spoilers ahead.)
While most definitely an ensemble drama, Call the Midwife most often utilizes the perspectives of the four young midwives at the story's center: confident Jenny Lee (Jessica Raine), sophisticated Beatrix “Trixie” Franklin (Helen George), clumsy Camilla “Chummy” Fortescue-Cholmondeley-Browne (Miranda Hart), and meek Cynthia Miller (Bryony Hannah).
The quartet of woman could not possibly be more different from each another, yet somehow, their dynamic works remarkably well: As they sip Babycham and listen to records after hours, they embody a certain spirit of unity and power. Raine's Jenny — based on memoirist Worth — anchors the show in both a physical and emotional sense, seeing as it's narrated by “mature Jenny” (Vanessa Redgrave), looking back on her life at Nonnatus House. The duality of perspectives presented, the innocence of contemporary Jenny juxtaposed against the experience of her future counterpart, gives the show a patina of gravitas. It helps as well that the disembodied voice belongs to Redgrave, whose heartfelt narration is one of the hallmarks of the show.
Courtesy of Jonathan Ford/Neal Street Productions 2013
There are many reasons why Hart's Chummy has been a breakout character over the three seasons the comedian has played the role. But the physical comedy that the pratfall-prone actress displayed early on (like while learning to ride a bicycle) has been replaced with emotional depth and pathos. And in the third season, Hart delivers a staggering performance that is at once jaw-dropping and heartbreaking for its fierceness and nuance. That it conflates her fraught dynamic with her emotionally distant mother, Jenny's innate tenderness, and a stunning look at dying with dignity gives her arc a palpable sense of importance and grace. Hart may be known for her humorous roles, but as Chummy, she delivers several scenes that establish her as a serious dramatic actor and reduce the viewers to jagged sobs.
Neal Street Productions
When we were first introduced to Sister Bernadette in the first season, I had no idea that the young nun's storyline would prove to be one of the most compelling and insightful looks at the tug of war between the religious and secular ever to appear on television. As played by the divine Laura Main, Sister Bernadette — now called Shelagh Turner — is a standout character of the highest order, not least of which for the heartache and realism that Main infuses into the role.
As she falls in love with Dr. Turner (Stephen McGann), she is forced to choose between the pull of her heart and the vocation for which she left the secular world behind. On a lesser show, this storyline might have been incredibly saccharine or exploitative, but here, Shelagh's struggle to find her own path and to choose romantic love was rendered as something incredibly poignant and powerful. Post-marriage to Dr. Turner, Shelagh continues to question her role in the world in Season 3, finding that there are always hard choices to be made and that secrets loom even between the best of individuals.
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An admission: Sometimes I skip to the end just to watch the thank yous.
It's going semi-viral…
“I'll take all of that you got” is pretty much the best compliment you can pay someone.
This video's got some bonus Schaffer-writhing too.
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I locked the door. Wait… did I lock the door?
1. Going to set TWO alarms for the morning just in case one doesn't go off.
2. I locked the door. Right? Yes. I locked it. Wait, let me just check to make sure it's locked.
3. Where are my keys? Did I leave them inside?
4. Holy shit… did I turn the coffee maker off?!
5. Yes, I did, but did I turn the hair straightener off too?!
6. House will burn down. Why didn't I get the apartment insurance?
7. Mom didn't pick up the phone. Maybe I should call the local hospitals…
8. What's the weather gonna be like? I should have checked. Do I even have an umbrella in the car?
youtube.com / Via sweetsynecdoche.wordpress.com
9. Did I put on deodorant?
10. There's a cop. There's a cop. There's a cop. Holy shit. Slow down. Did they just turn the lights on?
11. Of course I'm late to work on the ONE DAY my boss gets in early. Now she's glaring at me. Going to get fired.
12. Forgot to lock the car door.
13. Phew, it was locked. It's locked, right? Let me check again.
14. Why are they whispering? Are they talking about me?
15. Boss just asked me to come into her office. FML. I was right. I'm getting fired.
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The band’s first official apparel for Random Access Memories are advertised in a stylish campaign that looks straight out of the heyday of disco.
Daft Punk are certainly no strangers to embracing disco — after all they brought in super-producer and Chic frontman, Nile Rodgers, to give “Get Lucky” an authentic '70s dance music vibe — and they continued the disco-theme with their clever new campaign that pays homage to ads of the late '70s and early '80s.
Via daftpunk.com
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I have nothing to wear.
1. I should make a playlist for the shower.
2. Holy SHIT that's hot water. Better turn that down.
3. OH HELL YES T-SWIFT! This is my jam.
4. Spotify commercials are the reason for the teardrops on my guitar.
5. Which shampoo should I use today?
6. My roommate's shampoo looks cooler than mine.
7. I should put a chair in the shower when I'm shaving my legs.
8. Forget shaving my knees. Not even gonna try.
9. OUCH.
10. Is it humanly possible to shave without cutting myself?
11. Maybe I should buy shaving cream.
12. But it's so expensive. Ugh.
13. I could probably buy a dress at Target instead.
14. I read in a magazine that I should keep my conditioner on for 1–2 minutes. How long is that even?
FOX
15. Has it been a minute yet?
16. Maybe I should try putting some conditioner on my cuts?
17. That didn't help.
18. Ohhh there's a lot of blood.
19. I should exfoliate my skin.
20. How does this even work?
21. UGH I DROPPED IT. Now I have to bend over and try not to get my hair wet.
22. Shit. Now I just have to wash it all out. I don't think that was 2 minutes.
23. Ahhhh it feels soooo soft.
24. THIS IS MY JAM!! I can't get out yet. I guess I'll just wash my body again real quick.
25. HOW IS MY LEG STILL BLEEDING?
26. Omg I only shaved one armpit.
27. I'll just shave it at the sink later before I go.
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In the latest files of previously unreleased documents from the Clinton Presidential Library, notes from then-President Bill Clinton’s director of speechwriting Michael Waldman show a candid joke about porn inserted into drafts of Clinton’s 1998 State of the Union address.
Clinton Presidential Library
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Pick your favorite — Ariel, Belle, Mulan, Cinderella, etc. — and then lock yourself in the bathroom.
For ladies looking for sea-sprayed locks and the perfect red lip, an Ariel-inspired look is clean with just a bit of bold.
1. Mermaid Hair Shampoo, $35, Urban Outfitters.
2. Mason Pearson detangling comb, $34, Neiman Marcus.
3. Sea Salt Soap, $7.50, Shoptiques.com.
4. Pop Lip Stain, $16, Dermstore.com.
5. Johnson & Johnson No More Tangles, $3.79, Diapers.com.
6. Bumble & Bumble Surf Spray Set, $28, Bloomingdales.
7. Disney for Sephora Ariel Lip Gloss Set, $27, Sephora.
Sleeping Beauty=Rosy products, plus forest-friendly scents, and tools for a perfect complexion.
1. Weleda Wild Rose Smoothing Eye Cream, $20.15, Soap.com.
2. Edward Bess Ultra Dewy Complexion Perfector, $56, Sephora.
3. Klorane Chamomile Blond Radiance Shampoo, $19.50, Dermstore.com.
4. Tisserand Lavender Hand Cream, $15, Walgreens.
5. Nest Passiflora Rollerball Fragrance, $25, Sephora.
6. Rosebud Salve, $3.89, Drugstore.com.
7. 3 Concept Eyes Matte Eye Shadow, $12, Urban Outfitters.
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Come on, kid, don’t put that there.
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Revelations about infidelity from the secret scaring Whisper app.
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After Connecticut’s 81-76 win over Iowa State, Huskies guard Terrence Samuel tried to photobomb his coach. Coach Kevin Ollie offered a quick rebuttal.
CBS
CBS
He really went for it.
CBS
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“My point is simple, more guns doesn’t mean less crime as the NRA repeatedly tries to tell you — it means more gun violence, more death, and more profits for the gun manufacturers,” Morgan said in the final segment of his CNN show Piers Morgan Live .
“And to those who claim my gun control campaigning is anti-American, well the reverse is true, I'm so pro-American I want more of you to stay alive.”
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We all just want to get started with our weekends. The last hour at work is torture.
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1. What? It's barely 4 o'clock?!
2. The clock must be wrong. Let me check the computer.
3. Still 4. That must be wrong. Let me check my phone.
4. Still 4. Hell!
5. I'm, like, done with all my work.
6. It should be illegal to work till 5 p.m. on Fridays.
7. I wish we could just leave when we are done.
8. What am I doing after work?
9. Drink!
10. Where should I go for happy hour?
11. Most importantly, what will I drink?
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12. Do I want to eat? Or should I just drink so I can get tipsy?
13. Let's see what time is it now. 4:03…Really?!
14. I could have sworn I took 15 minutes thinking of alcohol.
15. I wonder what everyone else is doing…
16. Is it just me, or does everyone else seem to be productive.
17. Look at Tabatha, she is typing with purpose.
18. I'm hovering my mouse around with purpose. It actually looks kinda mediocre.
19. It's 4:07… what to do, what to do?
20. I'm going to the restroom, let's see how long that takes me.
21. What others are doing on my way there.
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Once upon a time, THE WORLD IS A DARK PLACE.
World Publishing Company / Penguin Putnam / Eric Carle / Via purebebe.com
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