Not every boner is the same. Our scientific analysis yielded 15 different boners, and we ranked them.
Chris Ritter/BuzzFeed
This is the New York Yankees/Duke men’s basketball/Avicii of boners. It's ubiquitous, ubiquitously despised, and it feels like it's never going to go away. It's loud and annoying and impossible to completely ignore. Take comfort in the knowledge that men across millennia and across the world have raged, like you, against the morning wood boner. Though putrid, it is a symbol of our common struggle as humans.
The bad news about having a terminal boner is that you are dead. This is a fairly major downside.
The good news is that you cannot be embarrassed by it and you cannot feel it. This makes it inarguably better than the morning wood boner.
Airplane Boner
This is a really terrible boner to have, because to engage with such a boner in any way is almost certainly a crime, and yet you are trapped with it, announcing itself bonerishly. It is the Edgar Allan Poe story of boners; the Telltale Boner.
Chris Ritter/BuzzFeed
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